Our group gathered various plants and flowers and made container pots for our yards and then settled down for a picnic. What companionship!! I spent time with a new member, Karen, who's just moved here from home back in Indiana. What a difficult move for her. She and her husband had their retirement home all built awaiting them. A log cabin deep in the countryside. And they had to sell it and leave all that was familiar to them in order for him to keep his job. Karen also had to leave her mother behind. She had been giving care to her Mom part time and sorely misses those moments. Our table talked about all the moves we have made and how each one presents its own difficulties. Yet each one also presents unique moments of opportunity.
I made my first move away from home 30 years ago! I thought my life was over. Quite dramatic I was. I sobbed. How could I leave my parents, my siblings, my life long friends??? How could I shuffle off to Buffalo?? I had two little ones, 2.5 yr old son and a 4 month old daughter! I needed my Mom. How would I care for those two without family and friends to offer support?? Curses on my husband's wonderful career opportunity.
Well I have an older brother who often extends his wisdom to his younger siblings. And he told me I really had to give my husband a chance at this opportunity since he had stayed around my family for the 7 years we had been married. So give him 7 years and come home. So I rubbed my eyes dry, sniffed, and grudgingly told my husband I would go but just for 7 years!
Thirty years later I am still living predominately out of state. We do have a small condo back home and I get there for the summers. But for 30 years I have lived in 3 different states and in England.
Each move is a wrench. Each move is another step away from my home state. Each move is like digging up a plant and dumping it into a container until you can dig a proper hole for it in your garden.
Yet, I do settle into the new garden and I have flourished and bloomed. In fact, I think I wouldn't be the person I am today if I hadn't moved away and discovered how to establish my own root system.
So I felt Karen's pain but also know that she too will find a way to settle into the patch of the world in which she now finds herself. Losses force us to examine what remains. Loss of the known home, family and support network, pushes us to look within and find out what strength is there that we can call upon. Like the plant that goes without water for awhile, it will draw from deep in the soil to replenish itself. Yet water must come or else it will die. So reaching out to others is necessary to help one discover nourishment.
My friends here in Bowling Green, KY feed my soul. They are like plant food. They share, they enable me to establish roots here. When I'm stressed, they step in and hold me up. They are the gardeners of my soul along with my family back home in Massachusetts and all my friends that enrich my life. My garden is full of creative women who have mastered the knack of replanting themselves!
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