Chocolate for Lent

Today we finished up our lenten reading: Chocolate for Lent.  it was a great book to do during Lent.  Based on the movie Chocolat, we reflected on our need to judge others, to avoid those who are "different" (whatever that may mean for us) and our inability to sometimes just be.  The characters illustrated various stages of despair and/or control.  So lots came out about how as you grow older you hope that you become stronger in the sense of who you are and not as dependent on the approval of others.

That's a tough one for me.  I thrive on the approval of others.  Maybe more than most people and I'm not sure why.  I have definitely improved yet I still become dismayed when I sense that someone doesn't approve of me.  Even if I have no desire to be friends with them!!  How crazy is that?

What drives us to see approval?  And why do some people seem able to go through life not affected by what others think of them?  I envy them.

I can waste hours mulling over and stewing over someone slighting me or even worse, speaking against me!  And yet if I know my intentions were good, what does it matter?

Will I ever "grow up" about that?  Will it get better?